paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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