I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
