Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
