Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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