The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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