Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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