Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
