If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my shit smells like andre
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think we might need a safe word for this...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
