So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
