ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize