Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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