Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
