so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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