UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
