He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
