Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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