but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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