you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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