everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
