Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
