I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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