Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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