It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
