I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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