Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
