At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it's not cheating when I paid for it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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