im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Panties = found
Randomize
