Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
