I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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