why didn't you poke me back
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
