This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Please, let me fuck your mom
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
MIDGETS
????
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
