if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
