I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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