i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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