but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
