Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize