i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
drinking out of a sandbucket again
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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