Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's never too late to be topless.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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