She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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