I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
