Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
