Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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