there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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