You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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