I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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