i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
