i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
