never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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