More tranny stories later!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
