Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
