Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
