Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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