Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
