the condom got lost in my hair
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
