i just google imaged poop.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
