I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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