I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
