Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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