I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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