i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
