So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
