she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
