ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
