I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
