break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
